Comfort of Strangers

After buying a harmonium at the Ali Akbar Khan School of Music, seeing some old friends from the Smithsonian, camping at Yosemite and coming back to Alameda for the evening, Daniel and I are back on the road, heading north. Our destination- the Redwood Forests of Northern California. While as of this writing, we do not have a place to sleep for the evening, we have faith that we will find a comfortable place either inside or outside to rest our heads. While this mindset of “going with the flow” and “being in the moment” is a little unnerving, it has led to exhibitions of generosity, hospitality and kindness by strangers, offered (and accepted!!) to Daniel and I. I wanted to dedicate this blog to those on the road who have offered us a meal, a place to sleep, or the combination of them both, and share a story of one instance of particular generosity.

Erin in Santa Barbara –

Leaving southern Los Angeles, we encountered the worst bout of traffic I’ve experienced in my life. What seemed like an eternity was, in actuality, 2 and a half hours in traffic, going a maximum of 15 mph the whole time up the 405. While this may be commonplace for Los Angelinos, it threw our “schedule” of making it halfway to San Francisco completely out of whack.

After finally getting through the traffic and filling up with gas, which took another 30 minutes, we were back on the road. But seeing as we had just lost 3 hours on our journey, the reality set in that we were not going to make it halfway to San Francisco that evening.

Upon pondering alternatives, we agreed to stop in Santa Barbara for the night and see what would happen. We set the GPS to head toward downtown Santa Barbara and threw our fate to the wind with the kind of anticipation only matched by a betting on your best hand in a game of poker. Upon arriving in downtown, Daniel and I began to argue a about what we would do in Santa Barbara. Daniel was tired of driving and just wanted to go have some fun, while I was concerned with finding someplace to lay our heads. After some bickering about “letting” things happen and “making” things happen, we split up to investigate Santa Barbara in our own ways. Off Daniel went on his skateboard and with the help of my iPod (thanks Janet!) and the free internet I stole from an apartment complex, I started to look for places to stay. The local hostel was booked and because it was the July 4th weekend, all the hotels were extremely overpriced, making that option an impossibility.

Scratching my head for an alternative, I went to investigate some local parks to see where we might find a spot to camp in the city for the evening. This gave me a chance to see Santa Barbara, and man, it was a beautiful city. The architecture reminded me of something in my past (past-life?) and I felt an immediate connection with my surroundings as the slight panic of not having a place to sleep left me.

Upon leaving one of the parks, I saw a girl walking her dog in an unfamiliar fashion. The dog was completely free, walking with the girl without a leash, only guided by her commands and his choice to obey them. Intrigued, I asked the girl about the dog and commented that she must have trained him well! She relayed that yes, she was very close with her dog and they walked together everyday, sometimes three times a day! I was introduced to her (Erin) and her dog (Oliver), as we continued our conversation about Santa Barbara, our travels, her travels, her home in Vermont, going to Bonnaroo, and the difference between the east and west coast in the US. The conversation led to her front porch where we continued the talk and played with Oliver.

I told her about our situation not having a place to stay in Santa Barbara and she sympathized, but said that out of courtesy to her roommate, she couldn’t give us a place to stay. I understood and we continued our talk. Upon getting a call from Daniel to meet up, I bid adieu to Erin and her faithful Oliver and thanked her for the talk.

Walking back to meet Daniel, the panic of not having a place to sleep set back in. It looked like it was going to be a night in the car or on the beach, avoiding the sight of the police. But, a thought hit me on the walk; if we can’t sleep at Erin’s house, could we set up our tent outside in her yard? Upon meeting Daniel we headed back to Erin’s to pop the question. Taking into consideration that I had just met this girl 20 minutes ago, that she had never met Daniel and that 2 guys were asking 1 girl if we could stay with her, I was a bit nervous about our proposal.

We arrived at Erin’s and knocked on the door. A part of me hoped she had already gone to bed and would not answer the door, but as she appeared on the other side of the door, I introduced her to Daniel and popped the question, most likely in a fashion akin to asking a girl out for a first date.

From her face, I think Erin was a little shocked and surprised that we even asked, but upon surveying our situation, not only offered us the yard, but also said she would give us her couch to sleep on!! We gladly accepted and came inside to get know her better and for some added playtime with Oliver.

Erin shared her kitchen with us, stories of growing up in Vermont, encounters with the police in Oklahoma (which were hilarious) and other stories of the road that we could identify with. I suppose it was these travels and the closeness of the road to her heart that compelled her to take in two smelly strangers like Daniel and I.

In a matter of minutes, we had gone from no place to stay and not knowing a soul in Santa Barbara, to having a place to rest for the evening and making friends with bartender, traveler, and this all around cool girl, Erin. Displays of compassion and hospitality like Erin showed to us, even in my most cynical states, will remind me of the good each inhabitant of this world possesses.

There have been countless cases of folks showing us hospitality on this trip, from Terry in Oakland, to Ashley in Durango, to dinner with Tye in Denver and to Adele in Albuquerque. We will keep their kindness in mind as we meet other travelers to whom we might be able to pay it forward. Maybe you can find someone in need today to pass this compassion onto. It comes full circle!

Looking out my window at the vineyards as we head to Northern California . . .